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Welcome to the dbl (deSilva Blacktop League) website

Saturday, April 15, 2006

I have to start off commmenting on the BoB 2005 DVD that Stigmata gave me today. This thing is so professionally done that it's unbelieveable. It had to have taken a ton of hours to put together. The music is even outstanding with Eddie Money, The Boss and AC/DC, among others. After watching it I now realize why Stigmata snickers every time I miss my initial attempt at a layup. Well done Stig and thanks for the copy. /// The day today started in dense fog and with a wet court. Luckily, Hamhocks had NC out squeegeeing the Blacktop from 7-10 am and it wasn't in too bad a shape when we got there. The J-Man showed up in formal attire due to his disabled list status, sucked down a 10:30 am Bud and was gone. The teams were: Me, Ben "Jose The MVP" Cartwright, Hamhocks, Bueller and Chainsaw versus Little Joe Cartwright, Paulo, Stigmata The Hustler, NC and The Assassin. Bueller came out on fire and led his team to victory in game 1. Unfortunately, as Bueller cooled off so did his team, losing the next 5 in a row before winning another. Down 5-2, but finally having another win, I was ready to wrap it up on a high note. Jose The MVP wanted another game though and, as we all know, Ben always gets what he wants. So, we ended up with a 2-6 record on the day. Unfortunately, that also means that Stigmata The Hustler was 6-2 on the day. As usual, The Assassin was a general nuisance out on the court, continually getting in on the rebounding action or harassing anybody else from the other team who got one. Jose The MVP had a little trouble discerning his teammates from his opponents, frequently outletting to the other team after he had gotten a nice rebound. I think that we should petition The Commissioner for uniforms so we can tell each other apart, if anybody can find The Commissioner. After playing, Hamhocks cooked food for 20. Discussions centered on Jose The MVP's protege's fascination with "swirling" at the high school. Bueller discussed his crack addict sometimes-girlfriend and everybody said bad stuff about Spec and Bingo. Hamhocks advised that Bingo said that he'd be making his debut at the Blacktop next week. We'll see. As far as Spec is concerned, we can only SPECulate.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

First off, I've got to comment on the Guestbook Page, which cuts off your comments after you enter the required security code. I am investigating this and hope to resolve it, one way or another, soon. As we all know, being able to write nasty comments about our brother Blacktoppers is the most important aspect of this website. /// I guess we'll start off with a few teasers again, like last week. What newly returned Blacktopper has picked up uncountable chicks by using the internet name of "Mr. Charisma?" This same person, due to his internet prowess, has been involved in any number of sexual escapades including, but not limited to, 1 on 1's, 2 on 1's, 1 on 2's, male and male vs. female, female and female vs. Mr. Charisma, etc., etc., etc. This same person is even willing to work with the Blacktop's own date-deprived Little Joe in order to, as BFerris would say, get him some ass. Believe me, there'll be much more on this subject to come (no pun intended). /// What newly returned Blacktopper, although a triathaloner and in obvious great physical condition, only comes in second to The Assassin when it comes to being a total, well-conditioned athlete - even though he seems to believe that he's #1? /// What Blacktopper, although on the DL, showed up to cheer on his fellow Blacktoppers yesterday (although negatively) and to give some advice to Bueller on how to handle drug-addicted females? (HINT: It certainly wasn't Spec, who never shows up at the Blacktop for any reason.) /// Yesterday, 14 Blacktoppers showed up to play in sunny conditions, although it was quite cool and there were gale-force winds of 50 knots. Although the winds definitely effected the shooting percentages of all of the other Blacktoppers, the mini-hurricane actually raised my personal shooting percentage by some 30 points. The 14 were: me, Hamhocks, The King, BFerris, EFerris, Paulo, Stigmata, the man with 2 first names, Ben "Jose The MVP" Cartwright, Kris Cartwright, Little Joe Cartwright, The Assassin, Brian The Backcracker and Chainsaw. Also, showing up, but not playing, were Bingo Shea and Michael Grandfield. Stephen "Spec" Roberge, as mentioned above, was NOT in attendance once again. Spec's last documented time at the Blacktop is officially listed as August 9, 2005, when his team lost the BoB to Rasheed, The King and The Assassin. Anyway, as fate would have it, after Ben and Kris Cartwright left after two games to go donate blood, three Coyle alums were placed onto the same team. Now, in the past, usually when just 2 Coylites were on the same team (me & BFerris) it usually led to a number of victories for our team. What do you think happened with three former Coyle players (EFerris) on the same team? That's right. Combined with former Dartmouth Indians The King and Paulo, our team ran off a string of 13 consecutive victories. In fact, the only thing that broke that string was when I totally hit the wall and, playing 4 against 5 with me gasping for air, our team finally went down to defeat, with the man with two first names hitting the game-winner (with me guarding him, of course). /// At one point, on a fastbreak with only me back, The Cracker came down court with the ball in his possession, one on one. Never knowing what to expect, with the ups that Mr. Charisma possesses, The Cracker surprised me yet again. Taking off from approximately 3 feet behind the foul line, Mr. Charisma jumped right over me enroute to the hoop. As I looked up, seeing only the bottom of The Cracker's sneakers, Mr. Charisma, from above the rim, threw the ball down towards the goal. The ball struck the back of the rim and riccocheted out to half-court, but it was obvious that The Cracker just missed putting it down ala Michael Jordan in the 1988 NBA Slam Dunk Competition. /// The Assassin was in rare form again yesterday. First, after a rebound that Bueller got near The Assassin, The Assassin actually punched BFerris in the gonads for beating him to the bound. With Ferris doubled over holding his private area, The Assassin grabbed the ball and passed to a teammate like nothing had happened. Later, as Bueller went in for a fastbreak layup, The Assassin, trying to maintain his anonymity, grabbed his teammate (Little Joe) and pushed him towards BFerris. Bueller stepped on Little Joe's foot and sprained his ankle, while The Assassin argued that Ferris had travelled. Little Joe, trying to avoid controversy, gave the Coyle-Dartmouth team the ball back, whereupon The King calmly whacked a 23-footer to win the game. Later, The Assassin, against all odds, hit Hamhocks so hard that the large-armed guy went down for the count near the foul line. I have never seen anybody drop Hamhocks like that. Lastly, here's how dangerous The Assassin is. When I caught him flush on the head with an elbow, I GOT INJURED! With my elbow throbbing, I looked over to see The Assassin with that Paul Newman/Cool Hand Luke grin on his face. It reminded me of last year when, by mistake, I elbowed The Assassin in the kisser, opening up a deep gash near his eye. As I apologized profusely, The Assassin said to forget about it while he again flashed that Cool Hand Luke smirk. This guy lives for mayhem and destruction and, as they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I have dedicated an old song from Molly Hatchet to both The Assassin and TLA called "Flirtin' With Disaster." If you ever listen to it, you'll understand. /// Lastly, as mentioned earlier, Bingo Shea sat courtside with Hamhocks and hollered derisive comments at the still-playing Blacktoppers. At that point, due to my sun-protecting headgear, the two of them nicknamed me "Mustafa." I vow that their abusive comments will not dissuade me from trying to protect myself from the sun's rays. They also picked on everybody else out on the court, but their barbs would be too numerous to mention here. Suffice it to say that if Bingo ever plays at the Blacktop again, the old saying of "what goes around comes around" will be implemented. /// Well, there was alot more to write about from yesterday, but this article is getting too long as it is. Until next week, Goodnight Spec.

established March 29th, 2006

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Let's start today's article off with a few teasers. Which local high school backcourt is having some problems of late? While one of the guards, who is supposed to be going to a Division I school in September, is trying to end a life, the other guard, who's a "nice little player," is allegedly starting a new person's life. You figure it out, but I have it from some solid confidential informants of Hamhocks'. /// Which Blacktopper reportedly is in so much fear of a Black Ops mission at his expense that he eloped to Las Vegas with his significant other this weekend? /// Name another Blacktopper who, rather than coming to play today, was drinking Budweisers at 9 am and then went to play in a poker tournament? /// Enough of the brainteasers, let's report on today's action. Nine Blacktoppers showed up to play today. The nine were composed of myself, Hamhocks, NC, Ben "Jose The MVP" Cartwright, Adam Cartwright, Paulo, The Assassin, Chainsaw and, back after a long absence, Brian The Backcracker. The Backcracker was in the height of basketball fashion wearing a bookie's visor backwards on his head, sunglasses, watch and sleeveless vest while playing. In what I initially thought was some type of racist comment by Paulo, Brian's name was shortened to just Cracker early in the proceedings. As the games began it also began raining ashes from the sky. It became immediately apparent that Hamhocks' next-door neighbor was trying to smoke us out by lighting a fire on his property and making sure that the wind blew the black, acrid smoke directly onto the Blacktop. It didn't deter the Blacktoppers, who continued play regardless of the fact that many of them were choking from the smoke. Unfortunately, any of our next chest X-rays are sure to show that we now have blacklung and the respiratory systems of men who have toiled in the coal mines for decades. Regardless, numerous games were played. Jose The MVP, bad back and all, was a monster on the offensive boards all day. The Assassin was offensive period, either retrieving rebounds himself or harassing the person, besides himself, who ultimately got one. Hamhocks advised me at one point that I was 3 for 3 on the day shooting. Armed with that information I decided to up my offensive output, eventually ending the day with 3 for 25 shooting from the field. Evidently, Hamhocks' strategy of inflating my ego worked. I think I further alienated my teammate, Adam Cartwright, when I began implementing my new fake the shot and pass the ball to the other team concept. I'd practiced this move all winter in the mirror at home and figured that I'd unveil it at the Blacktop today. After the 7th or 8th turnover I began to get the feeling that Adam had had about enough. So what did I do then? I tried the fake the shot and pass the ball to the other team a few more times, which in turn led to a number of fast breaks by our opponents. At that point I decided to shelve the move until next week. /// I'm also trying to figure out what the common denominator is in the fact that everybody that I guard on defense scores like a bugger. One week The Assassin scored about 5 or 6 baskets in a row while I was assigned to guard him. Today, my teammate, Jose The MVP, decided to change things up a little and have me take Paulo for a while. Paulo immediately went on a scoring spree, hitting like 6 shots in a row from all over. I can't figure out what it is that allows my opponents to score so often when I'm guarding them. I guess I'm just a victim of circumstance. /// There were a number of times today when The Cracker amazed everybody with his uncanny ability to soar so high that he's actually shooting down at the basket. The man can get up and that's all there is to it. /// After play subsided for the day, the talk courtside was basically more badmouthing of Spec and Bingo, just like last week. Hamhocks reported that he had actually seen Bingo this week and that Mr. Shea had some strong suggestions for Bueller regarding the predicament with his heroin using, pot smoking, line sniffing girlfriend. Bingo said that when he dated Fall River chicks with drug problems like that, back in the day, he used to enjoy humiliating them after the physical proceedings. Bingo told Hammy that Bueller should follow his lead from the old days and leave DNA samples all over the young lady's body when he's done with her and while she's in her drug induced stupor. Bingo further advised Hamhocks that he took particular pleasure in dropping a deuce on the female Fall River druggie's chest when he was done with her and highly recommended that Bueller implement this move the next time he's with his drug addicted squeeze. Oh yeah, that Bingo is a real charmer, but he is speaking to Bueller as the voice of experience. /// Spec, we all certainly missed you again today. The Cracker couldn't remember who you even were. When somebody said that you used to be able to shoot at one time, The Cracker thought we were talking about J-Man. When it was explained to The Cracker that we were talking about the ugly guy, with no mustache, who works for Cisco Systems, The Cracker exclaimed, "Oh yeah, I remember him. He wasn't too good anyway." We all heartily agreed with The Cracker and agreed to get together again next week and badmouth you some more when we're done playing.